S1E11 - Love Letters - Name the Lizard "Something Reasonable"

There is, unfortunately, no escaping physics. Bound by the speed of light, even information must take. It's time to get birth going. And as we move farther into the void, that time grows until the distance becomes unspeakable.

EOS. Okay, so first of all, it's really nice to hear from you. I was hoping I'd hear from you sooner rather than later, but, I mean, who's to say when you would have the time and if you would have anything to tell me or, I don't know, I was setting myself up to not be disappointed, I think. So that if something did get in the way and I didn't hear from you for a while, that I'd know it was for a good reason. Because, of course you're going to respond to my message as soon as you can. It's silly. Anyway, I'm glad that you're settling in, even if that settling involves a bit of teasing, but I'm sure you'll be able to give it back to your crewmates in turn. I'm sure there's plenty of embarrassing things you'll learn about each other. Two years is a lot of time to figure out what stupid things people are afraid of or what goofy ways they say words like catch up or bagel, stuff like that. Just little things. Things to bond over. I hope you all do. Bond, that is. You're going to be together for a long time, and I think it's important to have good relationships with coworkers, but you're going to be more than that. You're going to be roommates and friends and I mean, to be honest, the only people to have a real conversation with. I'm so happy that we can talk like this, but I know it's not the same. There's so much distance between and there's none of that back and forth. So I'm really glad that you're all there together and that you'll be able to bond and grow closer through this experience. I hope you aren't spreading too many lies about me, and that includes well intentioned lies. I know that you think that I'm going to invent some wild new species of lily or tomato or some new fantastical squash that's the size of a hover bite and can feed ten families for three years. You're always coming up with goofy stuff like that, and I don't know how many times I have to tell you that most of my job isn't doing that kind of crazy experimentation stuff. Okay, yes, there was that one time, but that was more of an accident than something I was trying to do. I'm glad that the station didn't make me incinerate the the whole plant. You know, we we still have that small clipping in its own containment field, of course. Can't trust those spores to roam freely. But anyways, I am working on a new project now. I think they figured maybe something new and exciting would be a nice change of pace while you're away. Anyway, it's based on this old practice that Earth farmers used to do with apple trees. I don't know if I've ever told you about this one, actually, it's really interesting. So there was this whole thing about hundreds of varieties of apples and for whatever reason, humans were obsessed with all of these different varieties and the ways that the texture and the taste and the color and the size would just vary between them. But most people didn't understand that the only reason that those existed was because they were splicing trees together. That could never happen naturally. So you would take these roots of trees that wouldn't produce fruit that was very tasty at all and then you would just attach other bits to it. And for hundreds of years that was the way that they did apples. And I am rambling again. Well, at worst that'll maybe make you feel a little bit more at home. I can almost see the glazed look that you would be giving me. You'd be smiling and listening, but I know it doesn't make any amount of sense. And that's okay because sometimes you will start talking about something and I'm like hoping that I can understand and it's just not going to happen. But anyway, so we're trying something similar and I'm excited to see if, I don't know, maybe it'll make some more Earth crops more viable in the stations. I don't know. We're still in preliminary stages. It takes a while for these things to really see if it's going to work out and even if it worked, if it would be useful, all of that kind of stuff. But I'm really happy to have heard from you so soon. I listened to your message like five times. Just wanting to make sure that I heard every moment of it and could appreciate everything you said as if you were here with me. I did take issue with one thing though. I'm still not convinced that this entire expedition of yours wasn't just some ploy to get out of naming our lizard something reasonable. I mean, Blizzard, that's not a fun name. That's a name that I'll tell someone and they'll just groan to my face and I can appreciate a good pun, but this is ridiculous. Blizzard the lizard? Are you serious with that? You know what I can't believe the most worked up I'm getting is over that ridiculous name for our sweet baby boy. But I'm just going to let you think about what you've done for a while. Maybe by the time this gets to you, you'll have already realized the error of your ways and you'll have thought of a bit more reasonable of a suggestion. And no, it cannot include any of the other puns that you have already floated. I can accept a pun, like I said. But it's got to be worth it, right? If I have to repeat that to all of our friends. You know how Ariana feels about that. I cannot walk up to her and say, oh, did I tell you EOS. And I named the lizard. It's Blizzard. I can't do it. It's unreasonable. It's an unreasonable ask. But in all seriousness, I can't wait to hear from you again. I miss you. I love you. I hope that you're having an amazing time, and I'm sending you all my best. I don't want you to beat yourself up over the engagement. You know that we both agreed to this. I am not holding that against you in any way. I know you want this as much as I do, and we're going to have it. Maybe not for two years, but that's okay. We've already waited over a decade. I think we can handle this. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for your next message. Starry Eyes.

Unspeakable Distance is an actual play podcast of communication delay by audio quinn a link to the game's itch IO page and credits for our players are available in the show notes linked to this episode. This podcast has been a production of the Library of Cursed Knowledge Podcast network.